Physical contact – Why it matters for development and learning

My childhood took place through the 60s and 70s. I experienced little physical contact with parents or teachers.

This probably had more to do with historical “English reserve” and a still-prevalent feeling that children should be seen, not heard (and only touched when absolutely necessary) than today’s concerns about safeguarding.

Of course, safeguarding is an issue we need to take extremely seriously. However, it can be hard for a naturally tactile child to understand any rejection.

In certain classrooms, I remember finding myself with what I used to call “child trousers” as little ones clung to my legs either for comfort or fun.

It can be a tricky situation in which to find oneself. You don’t want to engender any anxiety in children who are still young enough to behave purely instinctually. However, you also need to comply with guidelines.

After all, at the same time as wanting to instil an awareness of self-protection in our children, we are also living in a time when the prevalence of screens and individual devices is leading to increased isolation.

Then there’s the aftermath of Covid, whose effects are still having an impact, even on those who were merely babes in arms at the time.

Why physical contact matters

Young children are physical beings, and humans are social animals who need contact with each other. It’s difficult to develop a true sense of self within the body, and to have a positive relationship with our own corporeal selves, without experiencing how our bodies interact with others.

You may have children in your class who have been brought up in other cultures that are much more at home with physical contact. They may be confused when you curtail behaviour at school that is so natural at home.

So what’s the solution? Well, there’s always safety in numbers. As long as someone else is around, I personally don’t see anything wrong with giving a child a hug when they need it. In fact, I’m pro.

And of course there’s nothing wrong with children developing their knowledge of their bodily selves with one another, as long as no one gets hurt.

Movement and connection

There’s something wonderful about the moment when you take your children into the hall for a dance or movement session and the first thing they want to do is run round and round in a big circle.

It’s often good to let them burn off that big-space excitement for a short while. One time I was doing just that, standing in the centre of the circle, ready to call proceedings to order when needed.

I caught the eye of one little girl beaming with joy as she ran and ran, for the sheer fun of it. In response, I mumbled something like, “Why? Why always this?”.

The little girl heard and yelled back at me, “It’s because we need to!”. Movement sessions like this can be vital in developing children’s physical sense of self and the boundaries they are comfortable with.

We all have different preferences when it comes to physical contact. An aversion to contact may be particularly noticeable in some of your children with SEN.

But for those to whom it is important, it’s well worth introducing games and activities for your charges that reinforce the basic desire to have physical contact with each other.

Nikky Smedley is a writer and educator. Her book Create, Perform, Teach! (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, £15.99) is available now. Nikky heads up the How to Speak Child initiative and has been collecting interviews with children about how adults communicate with them.